Divine Intervention - in perfect time

Our trip is fully funded!  Yippee!  Here is a quick "God Sighting" story.  The day the money was due and I was still a significant amount away from paying for it, I was at a McDonald's event with some owner/operators.  I enjoyed a lovely evening talking with a lady that I had not had the pleasure to get to know previously.  We shared stories about our children and faith.  I told her about our mission trip.  Wow...that night she made a promise to help us! God's timing is perfect. I continue to be blessed by the people God keeps putting in my life!

My Biggest Fear Subsides

Wow! It's 6-days from when I have to pay the final $1,200 for our mission trip.  I was with my small bible study group tonight and Cindy asked if we had all of our funds raised.  For the first time with complete confidence I said, "I'm not sure, but I know God will provide!"  God's been good in giving me some unexpected finanical gifts; like an actual income tax return.  Yet, I've also had some unexpected expenses; like transmission issues on the car.  And, I've been so busy I haven't been able to balance my check book; so, I don't know where I am financially.  It's really hard to be a single mom in a demanding career that requires me to travel more than I'd like.  So, unfortunately, many administrative tasks of my personal life don't get enough attention (My free time is prioritized on relationships and trying to keep myself somewhat fit and healthy so I can manage all the responsibilty to I have personally and professionally.)

Despite my fear of raising funds of this trip, I've continue to give to others; both in service and time.  When I have a moment of "selfishness" and think that I need to hold on to my resources for me, I take a deep breath and look up.  I give because I love God and love others.  In return, I try to "walk by faith" and believe that God will give me exactly what I need, when I need it..to live my life according to His purposes!

Yeah!  Mackenzie got her passport.  We held a garage sale this weekend.  Only $1,000 more needed for our trip (and, yes, I'm fighting anxiety about the money)!  But, God is always good and "optimism" is a Newby core value.  So, onto some great news. We've had a couple of people purchase nearly ALL the gifts and prizes for our children's fair! 

Why God Is Center Of My Life Today

Wow, today was an emotionally exhausting day! I'm realizing how God has worked over many years to bring me to where I am today. Because of my trials (my Gethsemane), betrayals and failures...I now want a different life!

I started my Sunday, as usual, at church. Unfortunately, I received a text message from a friend that her sister had lost her battle with cancer this morning. It took me awhile to stop crying and start trying to focus on the sermon. Interestingly, my soon to be ex-husband was sitting by my side in church today. So, a lot of emotions were at play as I began to listen to one of the most powerful sermons I’ve heard in a long time. And, today's sermon depicted all the lessons I've learned during the course of a failed marriage; but, these learnings give me hope for a better future!

LESSON #1:  IT IS IN THE GETHSEMANE OF LIFE, THAT WE LEARN TO SUBMIT TO GOD AND HIS PLAN FOR OUR LIFE.  TRIALS = SUBMISSION TO GOD.

Jesus had his darkest moments and felt deep anguish as he prayed to God in Gethsemane before his crucifixion. No one can escape their own "Gethsemane". We will all experience trials in which we don't know how we will survive. Having faith and trusting God is merely theory, until you experience this darkest moment.

Ohhh…deep sigh….Yes, I’ve experienced this deep anguish many times throughout my marriage.  Many times I have laid with my face buried in the carpet floor, calling out to God for help.  I’ve been broken and have had nowhere else to turn.

I’m grateful that God gave me a gift of faith to call out to Him.  He has heard me and He has sustained me and grown my faith through so many trials!

LESSON #2:  EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE BETRAYAL.  BETRAYAL = REALITY.

Jesus was betrayed by his disciple Judas.  What devastation!  We will all face some type of betrayal in our life.

Yes, betrayal ran rampant in my marriage. Infidelity on many levels and contexts have played a role in the ending of what should have been a sacred marriage forever. 

I’m now more committed to the fact that the only way to a successful relationship is one in which each individual is committed to living according to God’s plans, pursuing God’s plans as an individual and as a couple.  Betrayal can NOT be a part of a successful relationship!  Yet, one caveat, we are human and will sin.  I believe there are instances in which betrayal can happen and two committed people to God and each other can forgive and move on.  This, however, can NOT be the norm!

LESSON #3:  WE ALL FAIL.  FAILURE = HUMILITY.

Okay… this is one in which Jesus didn’t experience personal failure!  But, because of Adam and Eve’s failure to obey, each of us sin…everyday! 

In regards to my marriage, I have so much personal failure and regret!  I was young, had low self-esteem, ill-equipped to know what I needed to do.  I should have loved (which I know now isn’t a feeling; it’s a verb) and respected more.  Over the years, Tom and I were given the education and spiritual direction on what is a Godly marriage.  But, we could never truly forget the past. Our foundation was on sinking sand….

The hardest failure I’ve ever had to admit was verbally admitting to my children about our broken marriage relationship. Telling my little ones that we were divorcing IS the darkest moment of my life!  Having conversations with my 19-year old about what it was like for her to grow up in a dysfunctional marriage breaks my heart!!!!  My children never deserved to feel the repercussions of my and Tom’s poor decisions. 

But, through all this pain, I’m learning to make Christ the center of my life.  I still fail all the time.  But, my heart is forever changed. There are so many things we can pray for.  Over the years, my I’ve boiled down my biggest heart’s desire and number one request for me and my children to….”I want to know you Lord more.  I want to serve you Lord more.  I want you Lord to be the center of my life and the center of all those around me lives!”

So….to tie all this back to the blog about “Me and Mackenzie’s Mission”…..This trip is all about serving God and others! This trip is all about pouring into my impressional, tender 10-yr old who un-wantingly is experience the bitter pains of divorce.  I want her to still feel God’s prescence in her life!  I want her and I to experience life change  in how God can use us to touch others and build our faith as we prepare for this mission trip!

Thanks to all of you that take the time to read our blog, pray for us, love us and support us financially!

 

Excitement Is Growing - Planning Children's Fair

Hello!  It's Mackenzie!  I just met a friend Naomi who is also going on the trip.  She's my age.  We are working together on the children's fair that we'll be putting on in Belize.  We are putting a lot of thought into a clown sketch that's funny but also christian.  Now, I'm feeling MUCH more excited about the trip to Belize!  

Preparing Our Hearts

I want this experience to make a BIG impact in Mackenzie’s spiritual growth.  It’s always been my heart to intentionally raise my children.  My vision for them is that they have a heart that knows and loves the Lord.  I want them to have a personal relationship with God and keep God the center of all that they do.  I want them to have a strong desire to love and serve others. 

Yet, I feel inadequate to equip my children properly.  Life is too crazy; especially now as a single parent with an absolutely crazy career.  So, part of my spiritual journey is to remember I can’t but God can.  I need to remember to pray and ask God to help me prioritize my time.  God can help give me the tools and resources to accomplish what He has planned. 

To start, I know I must prepare myself.  Just like I work out to build my physical strength, I need to “work out” to be stronger spiritually.  I must be a good example for Mackenzie.  She needs to see me prepare; we will prepare together.   I’ve searched on line and have found some journals that I will purchase for us.  I’ve also found videos to help us learn more about Belize and how to prepare our hearts for serving.  If anyone has any ideas that will help us, please send them to me.  We’re grateful for family and friends that want to participate in this journey with us. 

Dear God, Help me to walk FEARLESSLY into this journey. Please prepare my heart and mind for what you’ve laid before me.  Help me to lead and inspire Mackenzie to do the same. Amen!

What This Trip Means To Me

I want to have an awesome experience.  I hope to make a difference in other people's lives by loving them and opening their hearts to God.  I hope to grow and change with God by having a chance to go on this trip and seeing how other people live.  I want to teach them about God.   -- Mackenzie